How to Be Ok with Getting Older?

You can be ok with getting older by knowing the Spirit in you does not age. 

Isn't it crazy how we get excited about getting older when we were kids and then when we become adults some of us start to dread getting older. As a child we look forward to more responsibilities, privileges, and rights, or we just like the way it sounds and looks, for instance, turning 10 years old means getting into the two digits, 12 means you are a preteen, 13 you are officially a teenager, 15 you can get your driver's permit, 16 you are old enough to get your driver's license, 18 you are now considered by law an adult and for most it is time to graduate and maybe go off to college, and you can exercise your right to vote, and 21 years old you are legally allowed to drink alcohol, and around 25 to 30 years old stuff starts getting real, and the rights and responsibilities and being an adult we learn it is not what we thought it would be. 

For instance, I heard Wendy Osefo, on the Real Housewives of Potomac, say her mom told her that people aren't happy turning 40 or getting older because they aren't where they think they should be in life. Then Wendy proceeded to say, she accomplished her career goals in life, has a wonderful husband, and kids, so she was ok with turning 40. Well, what about some of us who don't have all that? A spouse and kids are out of most of our control, because we have to not only find someone we like but they have to like us back and we both have to like and love each other enough to marry and mutually agree to have kids. And sure, we have some control over the career we want, at the least we can work towards it, but a lot of the results or outcome is out of our hands and the timing of the breakthrough in which it happens is out of our hands as well. So how can we be ok with getting older if we don't have everything, we think we should have at a certain age or we aren't where we thought we would be in life?

Here are 4 steps that will make you feel better about your age: 

 1. Pray 

Pray, talk to God. Pray that God helps you feel ok about your insecurities about getting older and ask Him for good health and that He keeps you healthy and continues to give you strength in your old age like He did for Caleb and Moses in the Bible. Caleb said he felt as strong at eighty-five years old as he did when he was forty years old.  Caleb had faith in God, and he believed God. When Moses died at hundred and twenty years old, he was still strong (Deuteronomy 34:7). Also thank God for allowing you to see many years and that you continue to see many more, and for Him to give you the grace, strength, and health to endure and keep going strong mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When you pray, believe God and have faith that He will hear you and answer your prayers and thank and praise Him until you feel peace about it. You can further strengthen your faith in God by seeking Him.

2. Seek God with all your heart

Seek God by reading the Bible with the intention to get to know the Lord. Pray and look for a church and/or pastor online to help supplement or confirm your understanding of the Bible (see 1 Chronicles 22:19). Keeping your mind on God keeps your mind off of your age and whatever else is bothering you about getting older because you will be focused on God, the things of God that He has given you, and being in His will. 

3. Be in the will of God

When it comes to getting older, know that it is God's will for you to have a long happy life in peace, to pray continuously, to be thankful and grateful, and to live a life pleasing to Him doing what is right with the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit while trusting Him. 

4. Trust God

Live in the present, don't worry about the past or future, stay in the now and make a conscious effort to enjoy the now and release your cares to God, and trust that these feelings you are feeling about getting older will pass. 

   In addition to these steps, you have to change your mind set about age. When negativity arises that affects you whether it is through a thought, someone close to you, a stranger, or you read something, or hear it in the media you need to replace it with the truth. 

Change Your Mind set About Age (2 Corinthians10:5 and Romans 12:2)

Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts about getting older and coming into agreement with them, which will lead to negative feelings, learn by reading the Holy Bible what God has to say about getting older and believe it and come into agreement with what God says and allow the Holy Spirit to teach you and give you wisdom and comfort. 

For example:

1. You may think: 

Getting older is getting frail, weak, and being confided to a bed needing assistance from others. 

What you could replace that thought with: 

Know it is God's will for you to be whole, so trust God to take care of you and don't fear getting older, weak, and/or frail. Do your part and pray, eat right, move your body, and believe that you are good and will remain that way as you get older (see Isaiah 46:4). 

 Declare your body is whole and healthy. Go ahead say it right now out loud, if you can: "My body is whole and healthy," and believe that is God's will for you

2. You may think: 

Getting older entails being lonely or having to live in a nursing home and not having anyone to help or visit you.

What you could replace that thought with: 

You are never alone. God is always with you. Live a life of service helping those who God guides you to help. Walk in love, forgiveness, and do right by people with no motive other than you want to do it or God lead you to do it. Trust those who are supposed to help you will be there. And first and most of all trust that God will take care of you and give you the strength to handle any situation you may encounter (see Isaiah 46:4). 

3. You may think: 

You are too old to accomplish your goals. 

What you could replace that thought with: 

Don't be concerned with what you want to do instead pray and ask God what He wants you to do. When you have a relationship with God your heart's desire will be to please Him, and your age will not be important. You will be right on time, and trust that He has equipped you with everything you need to do His will for your life. 

4. You may think:

It is too late to fulfill my purpose in life.

What you could replace that thought with: 

God has plans for me and I have to trust that they will come at His perfect timing (Jeremiah 29:11). For example, Moses didn't get called to pursue his purpose until later in life; he was over eighty when God called him in the burning bush.

5. You may think:

You are getting wrinkles, crow's feet, gray hair, and/or gaining weight. 

What you could replace that thought with: 

Remind yourself this is a natural part of living and getting older. Be grateful you get to get older to experience this. It is ok to take care of yourself to cover, prevent, or slow down the process like taking care of your skin, eating healthy, or even coloring your gray hair, but in the midst of it all you still accept being you. Have peace with being you and getting older and know the issues you are being concerned about when you look in the mirror are probably not as bad as you are making them out to be, meaning you are probably magnifying the problems in your mind because you are focused on it. Take care of yourself, what God has given you by doing self-care and keeping yourself up.

 Click here to read this article on, "Why You Should Have Self-Acceptance".  

6. You may think: 

Because you are getting older your body is going to start aching when you get up in the morning. 

What you could replace that thought with: 

Rebuke that thought and rebuke it when you hear other people say things like this. Don't accept it as your truth. Remember what God did for Moses, He had his body feeling good and strong in his old age (Deuteronomy 34:7). 

If you are experiencing pain pray over it, and of course get it checked out by a physician, and know that God wants you whole so receive your healing and thank God in advance no matter how long it may take. 

7. You may think: 

This happened to people in my family in their old age therefore it will happen to me. 

What you could replace that thought with: 

Don't compare yourself. Pray for them and pray for yourself. Know that this is your life and you are not going to compare yourself while still being aware and doing what you need to do. Know that you have prayed about it and surrendered it to God and know that it is God's will for us to be whole and hold on to that truth. Whenever a negative thought creeps in, know and say out loud that you are whole and let it go. 

8. You may think: 

You are getting older, and you want to get married.

What you could replace that thought with: 

Pray and tell God you want to get married, and you want Him to pick someone for you, and remember that Issac didn't get married until 40 years old and he didn't have kids until after 40. Surrender the situation to God and be content with God and yourself. Serve and be in your purpose and work on becoming a better you in the meantime.

 And Yes, God can choose someone for you. Click here to read "Can God Choose a Spouse for Us?"

9. You may think: 

You are getting too old to have kids or to have more.  

What you could replace that thought with: 

Surrender the number of kids you have to God. If God wants you to have kids or more kids He will do it. Pray and let God know you want kids and surrender it to him. And know that God gave Abraham and Sarah a son in their old age. 

10. You may think:

of diseases that come with getting older and fear it may happen to you as you get older.

 What you could replace that thought with:

Faith. And if you start to worry, say out loud, if you can in that moment, "I am whole in the name of Jesus," and believe it, and if you don't believe it, pray and ask the Lord to help you believe. 

11. You may think:

or you may fear death or associate death with getting older. 

What you could replace that thought with: 

Declare, we shall live and not die (Psalm 118:17), and I desire a long life therefore God will give it to me. Remind yourself that God is willing, able, and wanting to give you a long life. 

12. You may think:

Your memory is getting bad, or you are afraid your memory will go bad. 

What you could replace that thought with: 

Remember that Jesus died so that we may be whole. Confess that your memory is well and whole and pray that it stays that way. If in the natural you feel like your memory is starting to fade pray that it is restored. 

13. You may think:

I'm getting older so it is going to be harder for me to lose weight. 

What you could replace that thought with: 

Pray that God helps you with self-control in what you eat and how much you eat, and you eat healthy and eat treats in moderation and move your body often, and trust that if you do your part your body will do what it is supposed to do and look how it is supposed to look, and know it is what it is. 

14. You may think: 

Why did someone call you ma'am, or sir? You may wonder, do they think you look old or older than them?

What you could replace that thought with: 

You could tell yourself, if this thought comes up, not to worry about what they think and remind yourself they could be calling you ma'am or sir out of respect, out of habit because they were raised to say it, or they were in the military and taught to say it there. Whatever the reason, try not to let it bother you because you are ok with who you are. 

We sometimes get bothered by getting older because we create these boundaries and restrictions around our age. We can alleviate some of the anxiety around getting older if we lift these boundaries and restrictions and try to relax some by stop thinking that you have to have this or that done by a certain age or look a certain way. For example, stop restricting yourself by thinking you have to dress a certain way because of your age, or you have to wear certain patterns that are generally unflattering and worn by seniors and they make you look old. Stop thinking you can't follow fashion trends because of your age. If you are 60 years old and you see a cute shirt in the junior department don't let that stop you from getting it and wearing it. Now be mindful of your body type and shape and how much skin to show, I didn't say be provocative I just mean be classy, stylish, and even trendy if you choose to be. Be flexible and stop putting so many boundaries on yourself. 

However, don't read too hard into this or put words in my mouth as if I am saying go in the other direction and preserve your youth by getting fillers, plumping stuff up, or plastic surgery. I'm saying just take care of yourself. Have a skin care routine, exercise or walk even if it is just for 10 minutes, drink water, eat healthy and if you are having a craving for something go for it, you don't have to deprive yourself. Put on nice clothes but don't be trying to hang on to your youth by wearing tight skimpy clothes just be classic, timeless, ageless, be you, Who God intended you to be. Work on your inside by working on your relationship with God and let the joy and peace in your spirit shine out. 

In addition, some of us may do this with our personality too, letting our age dictate what we think we should act like. We think we have to act a certain way when we get older. We have to be more serious. Yes, you should be maturing with age, meaning learning from our mistakes and try to help others not to make the same mistakes and be responsible and reliable but that doesn't mean that you can't be happy, funny, and carefree. 

When I say we need to be carefree I mean we don't need to stress about age and what may or may not come with it. For example, on Sherri, Sherri Shepherd's talk show (Season 3 Episode 47) actress, Teri Hatcher, said, when she dates an older man, she envisions how long it will be until she has to change his diaper. She was joking but some of us really do view getting older as: physically deteriorating, diapers, sick, and bedridden, but we have to change our vision of what getting older is, so we won't manifest those conditions nor conform to them and make them happen because that is what we think getting old is like. Although we do age physically we don't know what our old age will look like, everyone is different, but we don't have to think bad thoughts and have something in our head to the point that we stress and worry over it and make it reality, because stress will age you faster, weaken you, and wear your body down that could include: affecting your brain, giving you more wrinkles, gray hair, affect your immune system, get you sick, and it could cause you to stay sick longer, so stop thinking negative and stop dwelling on negativity and dwelling on things you can't control, and surrender your problems and negative thoughts to God and leave them there. If they reappear, pray and surrender the thoughts to Him again as many times as needed. Or if there is something you can do that is within your control, pray about it and if you are led to do it, do it. Proverbs 14:30 tells us, if your heart is at peace it will lead to a healthy body. So, heal your thoughts about aging and examine what is the root cause that is causing you to be concerned about aging. 

 Heal

The steps mentioned above: praying, seeking God, being in the will of God, trusting God and changing your mindset will help you heal in addition to examining the root cause of you being concerned about getting older by talking it through with God, and, if you need to, with someone you trust or a counselor, therapist, life coach, pastor etc. 

After talking it through with God you can go through the following questions to help you get to the core of your concerns: 

1. What do you think is causing you to be concerned about aging? 

2. Did someone say something to you that you accepted as truth, and it stayed with you?  

 3. Did a negative thought, a lie come up in your head that you accepted as the truth and you failed to address it, or replace it with the truth?

 4. Did you see someone in life or in the media that caused you to question something about your appearance?

5. Did you hear someone say something about what you will experience about getting older and it worried you? 

Talking to God in detail and going through these questions will help you get rid of your negative emotions about getting older. In the book, Empty Out the Negative: Make Room for Joy, Greater Confidence, and New Levels of Influence by Joel Osteen, Joel states, that if we get rid of the negative emotions God will fill us with good things so we stay young and strong (refer to Psalm 103). 

In conclusion:  

Have gratitude and look forward to the future that lies ahead of you. Remember it is a blessing to get older, so take care of yourself and trust and know that God is taking care of you too.  

                                                                        

                                                    Empty Out the Negative: Make Room for Joy, Greater Confidence, and New Levels of Influence by Joel Osteen

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Thank you for reading this article. I hope you found it helpful and informative.